Building Connection: Military Families and the Holiday Season

Building Connection: Military Families and the Holiday Season

By: Kari deLongpre, Associate Social Worker, Strength in Service 

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration, but for military families like mine, it can look a little different. Frequent relocations, deployments, and the unique demands of military life mean that the traditional sense of togetherness isn’t always easy to come by. Yet, through our journey, I’ve learned that the holidays can still be filled with meaning when we focus on connection, adaptability, and building traditions that are truly our own.

One of our most memorable holiday experiences was attending the Rolling Slumber Bed Races in Brunswick, Maine, where teams transformed beds into creative, decorated rolling slumber beds and raced them down the streets. It was a fun, quirky community event that reminded me how even the most unconventional traditions can bring people together and spark joy. Then, while stationed in Yokosuka, Japan, we traded the typical holiday meal for an unforgettable sushi outing. The kids had a blast choosing whatever they wanted from the electronic menus—giggles over adventurous picks and delight in their favorite dishes filled the air. To top it off, they each got to pick a dessert or two, making the night feel extra special. That holiday taught me that it’s not the meal that matters, but the joy and connection we share. 

Now, in Southern California, we’ve embraced the San Diego Bay Parade of Lights as a new tradition, and baking homemade bread to share with neighbors has become our way of fostering connection and kindness, no matter where we live. We also enjoy walking through our neighborhood, taking in the beautiful holiday lights and decorations. There’s something so peaceful about the simple act of strolling together, admiring the twinkling lights, and appreciating the beauty of the season, which always reminds me that sometimes the most meaningful moments come from the quietest, simplest pleasures.

For many military families, the holidays can amplify feelings of isolation. Frequent moves often mean we lack deep community ties in our current location. Being far from loved ones or adjusting to new neighborhoods can highlight the absence of familiar support networks. Military families, by the transient nature of our lives, sometimes feel invisible in local communities, making the season feel even lonelier.

At the same time, the disruption of routines during the holidays can be especially hard on children. Traditions may feel hollow without the presence of a deployed loved one, and the pressure to maintain a festive atmosphere for others can leave parents emotionally drained. On top of it all, the unspoken expectation of creating a “perfect” holiday to share on social media only adds to the stress.

But through these challenges, I’ve learned that the holidays don’t have to be picture-perfect to be meaningful. Military families are uniquely positioned to create connections in creative and unexpected ways. Leaning into local traditions, joining community events, or simply embracing the uniqueness of where you’re stationed can add new layers of joy and meaning to the season.

For example, when my husband was deployed, we kept him close by sending care packages filled with holiday treats and writing heartfelt letters. Seeing his joy through video calls gave us a sense of continuity, even while we were apart. Simple acts like these—whether baking together, watching a favorite movie, or making homemade decorations—helped us feel connected as a family and reminded us of our strength.

For those struggling with loneliness, it’s okay to focus inward and nurture the relationships within your immediate family. Sometimes the most fulfilling moments come from quiet evenings sharing stories, building new traditions, or just being present for one another. Volunteer opportunities, whether on base or in the community, can also bring a sense of purpose and belonging that eases feelings of disconnection.

As military families, we face unique challenges during the holidays, but we also have the resilience to turn these obstacles into opportunities. By focusing on connection, embracing our adaptability, and showing ourselves grace, we can create warmth and meaning in even the most uncertain seasons. This year, I hope you find joy in the little moments, strength in the unexpected, and connection in traditions—both old and new—that bring your family closer together.

If this message resonates with you, join us on Instagram at @strengthinserviceorg and Facebook at @strengthinservice to explore more about fostering connection, resilience, and social health as a military family. Let’s grow a supportive community, together.